friends

i have had the hardest week of my adult life and i am only able to face this because of Jesus' love for me. i have many regrets over the last few years and losing my close friend last night made that thought even more real. i have considered myself a good friend and in order to have a friend you need to be one, but i recently feel like i am not the friend i want to be. i no longer want to take any of my friends for granted and most of all i don't want to disconnect from friends ever again. i have many friends, all of them special in a different way, but equally important to me. i lost one of those people in my life that is irreplaceable, but i haven't been there with her over the last several months as she fought the fight of her life. i loved her so much and regret not trying harder to stay in close contact or to take the time to see her when i was there. i am determined to be better, with god's help and the technology there is no excuse. if you are reading this and you are my friend...i love you and want you to know i love being your friend. i am a friend of god above all else and desire to be the best friend i can be for the rest of my life!

funny story

i have to get this down before i forget.  i know this may not be funny to anyone else, but this is my way of remembering these hilarious moments of luke.  we were drawing on his chalk board and i drew a house.  he then pulls out an orange and a blue piece of chalk and says "the orange is fire and the blue is the water." i knew what was coming next...he proceeded to scribble orange all over my house!  so funny, but then he asks "who is going to put out the fire?"  i said he was and i pretended to call the fire department.  he answered and said "i am at the fire engine house, but we're out of gas!"  i laughed so hard and said i will bring some and he replied "thanks"...oh he makes me laugh every day, but this was quite the scene he came up with in his little mind.  this is what the house looked like after the fire and the water...needless to say the house did not survive.  (when i asked him to come in and take a picture with the burned up house this is what i got)

this does not come easy for me

so i realize now after looking at this blog several times in the last few months and thinking i really should write something...writing is not easy.  i think for me i have to be in that mindset with no distractions, which is rare in a house with a soon to be 4 year old, and i also have to let people (you few reading this) into my world.  scary thought for me sometimes.

my last post was in january and now a quarter of 2009 is gone!!  i can't believe my one day at a time mentality has gotten me to the middle of april already.  it has been a crazy few months.  since january my husband and i have been filling in as youth pastors at our church.  we have loved every minute of it, but it was a lot for us to do.  i knew it would be a lot, but i didn't realize how much stress it would put on todd.  we took 10 students on a retreat in february (hence the picture) and had an amazing time.  we hope they had as much fun with us as we had with them the last few months.  as of yesterday we are happy (and a little sad) to say that is now someone else's ministry.  we love teenagers, but there is not enough time with everything else to do all that is needed for a great youth ministry.  we will still be helping out when our new friends (Jason and Jennifer) need us, but it is no longer our responsibility.  we are so excited to get to know them better and for luke to have a new friend.  (they have a 3 year old boy too)

i am about out of things to say, so i will say this...i am ready to take on what the future has.  which the near future probably has a job in it.  i have not worked a "real" job in over 4 years, so i am a little nervous about that.  i know that i will find the right place to be and that it will be exactly what we need as a family.  wish me luck.  be back soon.

new year...no resolutions for me

every year i think about resolutions and the things i probably should be making changes in, but i always just think about it.  i have decided no resolutions are the way to go.  instead this year is all about one day at a time and doing what god wants me to do every day.  i know the only thing worth my time and energy when it comes to thinking about making changes is to spend more time with my jesus.  i often fall short of my own expectations and i know it all goes back to giving god my best and letting him take care of everything else.  so if you are reading this, it may not sound exciting to you, but it is really more for me.  i am blogging in place of journaling, which i always start out doing and end up getting tired of writing, because my brain thinks way too fast for the pen to keep up.  i will throw in some of my favorite luke quotes and some of our family happenings, that may or may not be much, but i know my far away family and friends might want to know.  maybe not, but just in case.  so, this i guess is my non resolution, my thing to do in 2009.  i hope you find something to motivate you in this new year.  with love from kc...colleen

so, i am finding i don't have much to write about.  we just had a really great weekend with my parents and my two nieces.  luke absolutely loves having people around all the time.  we had luke's birthday party on saturday and luke had an awesome day.  there is really nothing going on this week, but we are excited for more company this weekend.  my cousin katie and her boyfriend dan are coming...yea!!

my newest adventure begins wednesday night.  i am going back to teaching in our mpact girl's ministry (better known as missionettes).  i have taken a 3 year break i guess, since having luke and i am ready to get back in.  i have a love for teaching young girls and i hope that they can learn from me as they always teach me things along the way.

i am preparing for todd to leave to work in st. louis starting july 7.  it will be interesting having him gone all week, but we will survive.  he starts on his master's degree in august, so he will be busy then and life as we know it now will probably change.  this is a good move for us, especially for our future.  sometimes full time ministry is hard to find and by him being able to teach we are always ready to go where god wants us to go...part time or whatever.

my boy is three...i'm ready

i am having a hard time writing this morning.  i should have done this last night when all the excitement was going on.  sometimes after a fun weekend or special time i am in letdown mode on monday, or whatever day it happens to be.  we had so much fun celebrating luke's 3rd birthday yesterday and trying to keep father's day important too. (that didn't work out so well for todd, cause i didn't do such a great job with that)  we did have a great day with luke and as always todd was an amazing dad.  the day for us started out at church and luke was shown so much love for his special day.  we barely got in the door and he was being given birthday wishes and hugs and gifts.  a couple in our church brought him a cake with a tractor on it for his whole class.  (his new class, by the way i am glad to be done with nursery)  after church we went to bandana's for lunch and then stopped at toys'r us and picked up his bike.  he has been saying for months "i want a red bicycle and a blue bicycle"  in the end he picked out one bicycle that was green and blue.  we came home and while luke took a much needed nap i got dinner ready for company.  our friends paul and jalaine came over.  todd put the bike together (happy father's day again) and luke was so excited to ride it.  he finally got on and it was fun to watch him try to ride it.  the first time he went sailing down our cul-de-sac, he tried to turn too quick he wiped out and was impaled by the handlebars.  he was fine, but after that he had a healthy fear of his new wheels.  i think he is going to love it and by the time we came in he was gaining back his fearless tendencies!!  i love to watch him learn something new.  the day ended talking to most of his cousins on the phone and then crying because he wanted them to come to our house right now.  it is so hard to explain that he can't see them whenever he wants to because we live so far away from them, but i know we are where god wants us to be.  it just breaks my heart to see him cry and say "i want them to come to my house right now!"  or when he gets in trouble or upset and cries "grandma" "grandpa".  we love kansas city, but sometimes it is really hard to be away from family.  soooo...on a lighter note, by the time we went to bed he was asking about one of his new favorite people, a girl at our church, amber.  he said on the way upstairs "amber's my girlfriend"  i laughed and thought to myself we're in trouble...amber is 11!!  i can't believe how fast the last three years have gone and i try to enjoy every moment possible and not just wish he was past the current phase or season of his life.  because, as i have already seen many times over the three years as a parent, you go from one phase to another, some good and some trying.  this last year has definitely been trying but we are now ready for what i am going to call the thrilling threes;)  i hope they are even more fun than those you know what twos!! thanks for reading my rambles and next time won't be all about luke. happy birthday to my favorite boy in the world. i love being your mom.

here goes nothing...

so, this is all new to me and probably won't be very interesting to anyone else, but...i've wanted to journal for a long time with no desire to actually write, so when my cousin started his blog i thought what a great idea. (thanks tim!!)  i spend enough time on the computer, why not make good use of my time instead of just catching up on all my friends.  i will probably stay on myspace and facebook, but i have to admit i've lost interest in doing anything with it.  right now being a parent takes up about 98% of my time, so just know that is probably what i will write about mostly.  i have been encouraged to journal about my time with god and i hope to do that as well.  also like tim i am not very good at talking about the struggles i go through, so i hope for me this will be an outlet.  i also wish for it to be a way to keep those loved ones now far away up to date on luke...because i know most of the time...it's all about him.  i hope you enjoy.  i know i already am loving it:)